OXLAEYThe Turning Point 71°10′21″
Freude, schöner Götterfunken; Tochter aus Elysium
Wir betreten feuertrunken; Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!
As if my destiny had commanded it, just as trumpets blasted the final chords, I literally jumped off my bike, ran to the globe, and wrapped my arms around it, kissing the metal base. A few mobilehome tourists looked on, shocked, as I yelled out, overcome with happiness and emotion. I couldn’t hardly stand still, I was so pumped, an inner spring set loose. It was right before midnight and I hoped to see the “midnight” sun dip down over the horizon, hovering at the witching hour and then slowly climb back into the sky. Unfortunately, the clouds that night (day) had another idea. It didn’t dampen my spirits, though, as I drank champagne out of a fluted glass. I just couldn’t keep from smiling.
71°10′21″ This is my turning point. Cycling farther in the direction I was going would have meant death. Falling off a massively high cliff. There was and is no alternative. I’d have to, and I wanted to, significantly change the direction of my life.
I’d had a month of quiet time to reflect and here is what I set as my future course:
First, I promised to truly love ME. Voice my needs, concerns and agitations. Show compassion towards myself. Allow myself to be imperfect. Make mistakes and laugh at them in the future like with the dead monks. Celebrate my victories and treat myself to the joys that life has to offer. This might seem an odd goal, but I have always been my worst enemy. Blaming myself for everything, pushing myself too hard… etc.
I wanted to make my second priority friendships and my social life. Open myself and share with others. Enjoy the beauty of other people in this world. Be vulnerable. Have three close friends who would board an airplane and be at my side within 24 hours if I asked them to. This included romance. Any future romanic partners should also be one of my best friends.
Thirdly, I’d aim to improve my relationship with my family. In particular, I wanted to significantly improve my relationship with my brother, the person I’d know longer than any other human on this planet.
Work? It comes last.
Others aims were to keep writing in my gratitude journal, which had proven to show that all my silly, everyday frustrations are in reality very insignificant. I’d also finish writing a long narrative about who I am, to give me some perspective on all my accomplishments since high school until now. Because I have always been insecure about my outward appearance (grey hair?, bad teeth?, not muscular enough?), I’d also start noting down whenever I got a flirty or “you are a nice looking guy”-look from women I passed on the street, to build self confidence. Finally, add to the “working on” list: becoming less impatient, overthinking things, setting unrealistic expectations, not forgiving others, becoming more patient and tolerant rather than angry. Yes… It would be a long-term “work in progress”….
What was my dream for my the foreseeable future ? This is what I wrote in my journal: “I will have a smile for everyone, feel so good, fearless and confident about myself that I can approach anyone under any circumstances. I want to be a person that others say has energy radiating from him, to be magical. To have a joy for life. Stay youthfully curious and happy. I’m a traveller, explorer of people, places and ideas: discovering good, bad, beautiful and ugly. That’s why challenges attract me: the chance to experience new limits.”
Reaching the North Cape I only felt one overpowering emotion: JOY!
