Goodbye Berlin

I guess all of us have singular moments in our lives which take on a greater significance in our minds. Turning points. Milestones. My life changed at 71°10′21″.

For some unexplainable reason I had been fascinated for a number of years with the idea of cycling from Berlin to the northern most point of Europe, just a mass of rocks overlooking the Barents Sea, really. I’d never been on a bike ride this far. Previously, I’d done maybe 300 kilometers over a long weekend trip. To go to Nordkapp would stretch me well over 2000 km. It was a physical challenge, which I’ve always loved. It was also a kind of saying goodbye.

Early one Berlin morning, in June 2013, I rode away. I didn’t think I’d ever see Berlin again and wasn’t sure I even wanted to. I had first moved to Berlin in the summer of 1999. During a 14 years span, I earned 2 additional degrees, drank rivers of Berliner beer, danced in abandoned basements, worked in the German Bundestag, saw old buildings restored and experienced the evolution of the city.

Berlin to Sweden

But I never felt at home. Berlin was never mine. I was never a Berliner. Why? Why didn’t I feel connected with the city and the friends I had? Could it be me? Duh.Instead of working things out with this fabulous city, I left everything behind. All the junk I didn’t want from my apartment, I left sitting in the stairwell. With very few exceptions, I didn’t tell any of my friends I was even leaving. I just turned my back on all that I had built. I rode away.Melancholy. I left the city and rode north towards the ferry at Sassnitz. I felt a soft sadness watching the white chalk cliffs fade away as I headed across the Baltic Sea towards the Swedish coast. If I was truly honest with myself, I had experienced countless beautiful moments in Germany and had wonderful people in my planetary sphere. I was grateful for Germany and all the gifts and opportunities she had given me. I had achieved so many dreams in Berlin.

Why was I going north?

(June 2013)


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